I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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