Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize