Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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