I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Drunk is not a location!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
