Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
