i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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