Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
