I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
either way he was missing a nipple.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
