white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
