There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
