So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
