This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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