Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
