If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize