we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
