Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
