I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
