Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sobbing to NWA
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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