Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
