I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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