i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
