he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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