The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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