i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
