She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the day after is always just damage control
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
