why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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