Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
