he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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