so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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