Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
