you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
