I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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