yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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