I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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