Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
