Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think my tv is drunk
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
