what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
