I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
