Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
