Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize