It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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