Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
