Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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