Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
