WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
