I just saw a hot homeless man
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
