i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
