Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize