dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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