She went from zero to smokin in five shots
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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