Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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