Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
