We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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