On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my being single is dangerous.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
