Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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