I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
