I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
