She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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