i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
