I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
