After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize