Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
