i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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