I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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