Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
